Jealousy Crept In.

Jealously creeps in.

I feel like I do a really good job at not comparing our life to others.

I love my family and our life exactly the way it is.

Yes, we have another layer of challenges but I love my kids exactly the way they are.

But jealousy smacked me in the face not once but twice today, out of no where.

We were at Savannahs cattle show and I saw this husband and wife sitting at their cattle trailer talking and laughing and their young kids were about 20ft away playing with toys in the dirt under a tree.

My mind quickly said “you could never do that”

A man and his son walked by us. The dad was carrying food and the small boy was walking just a bit behind his dad carrying his drink.

My mind again “you could never do that”.

The truth is I can’t.

Dallas and Harper elope.

Yes they played in the dirt under a tree but I was within arms length of them.

I can’t allow them to walk behind me. We always have to be holding hands.

I stay in a state of hyper vigilance at all times. Dereck and I couldn’t sit down and talk in a public place. I mean we can’t even sit down most of the time!

I do a really good job at warding off jealousy but sometimes it just sneaks right in.

I don’t hear people talk about it much, but it’s ok.

We’re all only human just doing our best💜

This piece was written by Shelby Shivener. From Autism On The Farm.

Comments

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