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We Are in It.


 We are in it right now. 


It seems to go through phases but we are in a really hard phase with Dallas. 

For the past 2 weeks and counting we are experiencing spikes in behaviors, sleep struggles, sensory seeking, loss of appetite, and so much more. 

These are the times where I really struggle with his inability to communicate. 


I just want to know. 


Why are you waking at 2AM everyday? 

Is it a bad dream, are you hurting?


Why the constant spinning and jumping?

I know your little body has to be tired but your still going. 


Why are you biting yourself?

Is it the sensation your seeking. 


Why do you get these burst of aggression toward me? 

Am I doing something wrong, is it because you cant tell me something. 


My mind is constantly turning. 

I’m completely exhausted. 


I can’t help but think what is he feeling. 


When I look into his eyes I see that he doesn’t want to be doing these things but he doesn’t have the control to stop. 

From 4:30AM to 5:45AM this morning you hopped around my bedroom with no break or pause from the hopping. Constant movement for 1hr and 15min. 


I don’t know how long this phase we are in will last. These are the moments that make this life as a autism mom so isolating and lonely for me. 

I know he’s doing the best he can, I hope he knows I am to. 


This post was written by Shelby Shivener from Autism On The Farm. 


#autismonthefarm #autism #autismmom #supporters

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