Autism On The Farm

  I feel like I am always reminded of my kids' struggles and delays.  School, birthday parties, grocery stores, parks, family gatherings, doctors offices, honestly there’s not anywhere I can think of that we go outside of our home that doesn’t remind me that our life looks different.  No matter where we go it’s not easy.  We have to pack toys, tablets, snacks, pull-ups, wipes, a wagon, headphones, sensory toys, did I say snacks! This is not a list that we pack if we are going to be gone for a long day, this is what we pack just for a quick trip. These things are necessary for us to go somewhere. And these things do not guarantee our trips are successful. I see other families just go somewhere with so much ease. There is absolutely no ease with our family.  Someone always cries during a transition. Every person in my family  including myself has a meltdown when we go somewhere.  I just expect it at this point, I know it's coming.  I remember going ...

 This purple play dough pumpkin has brought him the most joy today, me not so much.  He doesn’t want it to rip, or get dirty, or fold over.  It’s play dough of course it does all this things!  Maybe I could find someone to just come over and re press out his play dough pumpkin all day everyday until his special interest changes to something else 🤣🫶🏼💜 #autismonthefarm #autism #autismmom

 Speech Device.  A huge misconception about speech devices is that they discourage children from using their verbal language.  This could not be further from the truth.  Keeping a communication tool away from a non speaking child is not a way to get them to speak.  Harper and Dallas both started with PECS. A picture exchange system to express their wants and needs!  As a mom of 2 non speaking children getting them to use PECS as a means of communication was a life changer for us.  Now Harper has her speech device. Dallas’s is in process and will hopefully be here soon.  Since getting Harpers device that has verbal output when she presses a button to make a request.  She is able to answer so many question and let us know what her wants and needs are.  She is also repeating the words after she hears her device say them.  Harper can answer me with her device when is ask, What’s your name? How old are you? When’s your birthday? What do ...

 Spending some extra time with my girl today since she wasn’t feeling great this morning!  We don’t love being sick but she was able to use her speech device to tell me her belly hurt!  That’s a huge win!  This post was written by Shelby Shivener from Autism On The Farm.  #autismonthefarm #autism #autismmom #speechdevice

 Finally Sleeping.  A little Mc Donald’s  Play dough  Swinging  And watching the 15 most deadliest ocean animals on YouTube Made his evening perfect.  Forever by my your side.  This post was written by Shelby Shivener from Autism On The Farm.  #autismonthefarm #autism #autismmom

 I got this picture from one of Harpers paras💜 Look at that girl 🥹 Harper Jo is loving kindergarten! She’s ready and excited to go every morning.  She’s smiling and happy at the end of the day when I pick her up!  I love when I ask her if she’s had a good day and her response with a big smile is “good day”.  She had a rough first couple weeks but I think she’s found her groove🫶🏼  This post was written by Shelby Shivener from Autism On The Farm.  #autismonthefarm #autism #autismmom #supporters

 We are in it right now.  It seems to go through phases but we are in a really hard phase with Dallas.  For the past 2 weeks and counting we are experiencing spikes in behaviors, sleep struggles, sensory seeking, loss of appetite, and so much more.  These are the times where I really struggle with his inability to communicate.  I just want to know.  Why are you waking at 2AM everyday?  Is it a bad dream, are you hurting? Why the constant spinning and jumping? I know your little body has to be tired but your still going.  Why are you biting yourself? Is it the sensation your seeking.  Why do you get these burst of aggression toward me?  Am I doing something wrong, is it because you cant tell me something.  My mind is constantly turning.  I’m completely exhausted.  I can’t help but think what is he feeling.  When I look into his eyes I see that he doesn’t want to be doing these things but he doesn’t have the control to ...

  Where do we belong?  I find myself asking this question a lot. I find myself sitting in my thoughts about where my kids and their autism will fit into this world.  A autism diagnosis doesn’t guarantee someone will get what they need or deserve. It doesn’t guarantee them acceptance, understanding, or inclusion.  Since the kids diagnosis I have spent so much time fighting for every big and little thing that they need or deserve.   Since I spend so much of my time fighting I start to feel like we don’t belong or if I’m being completely honest, like we arnt wanted.  Even some of the closest people to us don’t fully understand our life and the impact autism has on us daily.  What I do know is we belong together.  I will always fight for Harper and Dallas’s needs and wants.  I will fight for their safety, inclusion and acceptance.  I will always be by their side. Understanding, loving, supporting, and caring for them every step of the w...

  Folding laundry and these three roll in with blankets and set up on my bedroom floor. 🫶🏼🧺 #autismonthefarm #autism #autismmom

 My girl did a little rock climbing at school today! Her para sent this to me and said she absolutely loved it.  🥰 🫶🏼🪨💜 #autismonthefarm #autism #autismmom

  2AM.  That’s the time Dallas has been waking up every other day this week.  He has one night of great sleep and the next he’s up, 2AM on the dot until about 5:30-6am.  He wakes up ready to rock and roll!  Full of energy.  I can’t say that I feel the same about being up that early. Praying he gets back into a normal sleep routine!  I remember the days where neither Harper or Dallas would sleep through the night.  I’m not sure how we survived but I definitely don't want to go back there.  To top it off he likes to listen to his tablet at top volume.  Sound is the one thing that triggers me. Loud tablets, toys, and tvs send me over the edge faster than anything else.  So when I’m laying in bed trying to sleep and I let him have his tablet to try to keep him from waking up the whole house. I spend my time turning down the volume just to shut my eyes and hear it get increasingly louder.  Drives me insane!  The day he can reco...

Being a Mom and Being a Autism Mom. After we got the kids diagnosis I always wondered, how do I discipline. I was very aware that a lot of their behaviors came from not being able to communicate, being overstimulated, not having enough sensory input, or lack of awareness.  I still struggle to tell the difference between typical 3 and 5 year old behavior and behaviors related to their autism.  You hear people say oh you just need to discipline better, they need consequences, they need timeout, they need…etc.  Autism made me a different mom.  All the things go through my head when unwanted behaviors arise.  Why? What’s going on around us? Is there loud noises? When and how much did they eat? How long have we been here? Time of day. Have we had a hard week? All these things and so much more go through my head.  Autism has given me a lot of patience.  Im very aware that from the outside looking in Harper and Dallas look like typical kids.  You can’t s...

  I have to share this new thing Harper has been doing during our bedtime routine!  It just melts my heart every night and its something that i look forward to. Dereck and I do the same thing with the kids every night when its time for bed.  Everyone runs and jumps into their beds. Dereck and I go around giving all 3 kiddos their hugs and kisses and saying our good nights, tucking them all in.  When I get to Harper Jo I lean down give her a kiss on the head and say night night.  She has started this new thing that just melts me. She wraps her arms around my neck pulls me down into her bed and squeezes as tight as she can.  Sometimes I have to give a reminder to “be gentle” lol.  She lets go of my neck, grabs both of my checks and gives a very aggressive kiss.  Lays back down on her pillow smiles and says ”night mom”.  Every night this little moment just continues to melt my heart.  Our Harper Jo is so loving.  The thing with moments...

 My biggest fear for my kids changes often.  Something new will happen or I’ll hear something and it changes what my fear is for that day or week or even moment.  Today my biggest fear was Dallas ever losing his light or spark.  I think of Harper and not that I don’t worry about her because I do. But she’s so fierce, spunky, loud, charismatic, engaging, and bold. She demands love from people around her.  Dallas is more reserved, keeps to himself, sensitive,and soft hearted.    I worry about someone hurting his feelings, picking on him, or putting out his light more.  He’s not as outgoing as his sister but he is funny, loving, cuddly, sweet, caring, and has the desire to engage but his body can keep him from it at times.  I struggle with wanting them to have the awareness of what’s going on around them but also I never want him to feel like he isn’t perfect exactly how he is!  These are the thoughts that bring me to tears.  I try so ...

I remember before diagnosis. There was a stretch of time where I was just a tool for Harper and Dallas.  They only needed me to get them food, change them, open items and that’s it.  There was no verbal communication and not much non verbal communication.  Communication consisted of crying.  Dallas when he would want something he would just cry.  There was nothing that led to the crying. He was either fine or crying. If he wanted a drink to let me know he would cry.  Harper would just drag me around. She would grab my arm and pull me to the fridge and it was a guessing game of what she would want. If I grabbed the wrong thing she would cry. If I grabbed the right thing she was silent. For both of them there was no pointing or reaching. This time of our life was hard!  But this time of my life taught me so much!  I learned so much about my kids. I compare it to a newborn. When you have a newborn you are in tune with them. I remember I learned diff...

  Jealously creeps in.  I feel like I do a really good job at not comparing our life to others.  I love my family and our life exactly the way it is.  Yes, we have another layer of challenges but I love my kids exactly the way they are.  But jealousy smacked me in the face not once but twice today, out of no where.  We were at Savannahs cattle show and I saw this husband and wife sitting at their cattle trailer talking and laughing and their young kids were about 20ft away playing with toys in the dirt under a tree.  My mind quickly said “you could never do that”  A man and his son walked by us. The dad was carrying food and the small boy was walking just a bit behind his dad carrying his drink.  My mind again “you could never do that”.  The truth is I can’t.  Dallas and Harper elope.  Yes they played in the dirt under a tree but I was within arms length of them.  I can’t allow them to walk behind me. We always have to be ...

I wouldn’t want to spend our weekends any other way!  Today Savannah had her first show of many. Is it hard to take everyone on these long days, of course it is.  I could keep Harper and Dallas home and Dereck could take Savannah.  But we enjoy doing this because we can do it together as a family.  Do Harper and Dallas have meltdowns, yes!  Do the cry’s and screams come at the worst time, yes normally they do.  I have to fully prepare for days like this. Snacks, toys, tablets, drinks, and sensory toys but I also have to prepare mentally and emotionally for days like today. I know that my head will be on a swivel at all times. Someone is going to run, climb or do something unsafe. That’s just a fact.  Times can get tough. I have to make sure that I can go into the day with the patients and emotional space that I need to meet Harper and Dallas where they are in the hard moments.  It’s not always easy but my prayer is that if we keep doing the hard t...

September is National Service Dog Month!  I thought this would be a great opportunity to share some information on service dogs and specifically why Harper is getting a service dog. An Autism Assistance Dog can be specifically trained in the areas where a individual child needs assistance.  The trained Tasks a Autism service dog can preform:  🧩 Tracking- this one was a big one for us. Harper can display wandering and elopement types of behavior. In some situations she does not respond to her name so you must run faster than her to catch her, and our girl is FAST! A service dog is trained to track its child by their scent if they do wonder away.  🧩 Tethering- A service dog is trained to wear a harness and a second leash attaches the SD(service dog) to the child. This allows peace of mind and a sense of safety for us when out in public. We do not have to worry about the eloping and wondering since Harper will be attached to her SD and he will not allow her to wonder ...

  The Best Big Sister Savannah is our oldest. She loves soccer, gymnastics, painting, showing her heifer, staying the night with her Mamaw and being a big sister to Harper and Dallas. It’s crazy to see how much love she has for them, because I know typically siblings fight or they argue. But that's not them. I remember after Harper and Dallas got their diagnosis I sat Savannah down and explained to her that Harper and Dallas had autism and she only had one question for me.  She asked, “is that why they don't talk?” I said yes and that was it.  I had all 3 of my kids close together Savannah and Harper are 25 months apart. Dallas and Harper are 17 months apart.  Sometimes I would wonder why Savannah didnt have more questions but really it's all she has ever known.  Savannah is a fierce protector of her siblings. She loves them with everything she has.  She is understanding, helpful, and kind. She makes sure they are included and taken care of.  The girls...